Coolum Beach to Cairns

Our home for the next six weeks, Fergie, has had a pretty cushy first two years of life. Road trips seem to have existed as gentle wafts between official campsites with associated power, water and easy access to restaurants. This is likely to be a bit of a smack on the arse. Campsites will be for filling up with water, fast charging mobile devices, smashing out a load or two of laundry and giving J4x access to hair straighteners and her beloved Dyson! First stop Coles to fill the fridge with goodies and general BBQ dirtying things.
Off we go. Bugger all plans, just need to be back on the Sunny Coast 1 September. Pointed the beast North and pressed the go forwards pedal. Given Fergie’s lack of real life experience, the contents of the water tank were unlikely to be helpful in our quest to ban numbers greater than one from the dunny so popped into a tourist info place to find clean water and somewhere to flush the water tank. The lovely people in the tourist office had heaps of info, sadly, none of any fucking use whatsoever! Got on the blower and booked ourselves in Poona Palms Holiday Park about 150km North.

Water in/water out checklist ticked. Power attached. Whacked half a cow onto the BBQ and chilled out for the night. Incredibly comfy bed, no more faffing around climbing up ladders into the cubby hole above the cabin for us.

Lazy start for us and a couple of visits to the facilities to liberate the aforementioned cow. Hervey Bay is only about an hour North, so booted up the trusty park4night app to check out free spots for the night. park4night guided us around Scotland and Spain in our quest to pay as little as possible in camping fees last year. Shady/flat area on the edge of a car park ticks the boxes, bloody oath! Took a bit of a wander around town then out on the awesome pier before settling in for dinner. Up the next morning and happy to discover that Fergie’s overnight thirst for battery power was minimal. Also, the rooftop solar panels were happily getting on with the business of refilling the batteries. Quick stop at the local shopping centre for a crap and purchase a few bits for the kitchen before getting back on the road.

Agnes Waters had been mentioned as pretty awesome and about three hours drive. park4night identified a handy car park for the night, perfect. Sadly we arrived at the same time as an army of construction workers reworking the entire beach front. Never mind, parked up overlooking a tranquil lake, whacked a chook on the barbie and got on the piss!

Rockhampton next, 225km about two and a half hours. Our handy Scrooge app takes us to a plot at the top of Mount Archer, overlooking the town. Had a nasty encounter with a big mouse spider whilst having a piss in the bush, so retreated to the BBQ and got stuck into a leg of lamb!

Fergie’s legs are getting a proper stretching and they/them (!) responded with a hissy fit! Big warning lights in a Motorhome are never welcome. Instructions like ‘Check Engine’ and ‘Check Gearbox’ are as welcome Mr Whippy and his smelly chums. Oh, hang on, I’ll pop the bonnet. Yup, both there! Parked up and waited for the RAC man to arrive. He duly arrives moaning about Fiat vehicles and starts checking Fergie’s private parts. Like most who identify as they/them, Fergie’s original private parts are still present and correct, functioning as designed. RAC Man delivers a spot of electric shock treatment, problem solved. Maybe a message in there for the woke brigade!

Couple of hours delay then off to Barracrab Camp site another couple of hundred K’s away for water and stuff! Sadly, the water here is bore water and saltier than a packet of Smith’s finest. One tap for filling the kettle and fuck all else! Water tanks now drier than a Nun’s nasty and the weather has decided on rain for a few days. Not just rain, but 60kmph winds. Didn’t fancy any of that malarkey so pressed on to Mackay.

Visiting Trish and Ken had always been the plan on this long awaited trip. Covid, family and Europe visits put a kybosh on this until recently!! Sadly however Trish passed away before we ever made it!  But we still kept to our word and met up with Ken, seeing where they built their new life together.  As we all know life is so short and for Ken losing Trish at such a young age is totally devastating. Ken welcomed us with open arms and we plugged our van in for the night and proceeded to have a tour of Mackay, thanks to Judy, Ken’s private driver aka good friend of both Trish and Ken.Dinner at Mackay bowlo was delicious!! Thanks Ken- see you next time 🙏❤️

Quick hour and a half dash in the pissing rain to Prosperpine. Free spot in the middle of town was quickly turning into a Motorhome sized mud wrestling pit so stayed the night and got cracking again in the morning.

Weather still less than friendly so took a long, slow drive to Forrest Beach about 400km up the road. What a find, a beautiful area right by the beach for independent horses (self contained vans for those who have just tuned in!) Our horse was very happy, plenty of water and rest place, we were happy with hot showers, clean loos and even had a plug point in the bathroom.  Locals very welcoming $15 for the night!! 

Now we’re really heading into the tropics! Off to Bramston Beach another 200k’s up the road. Lush, green and stunning scenery! Exactly what we were hoping for! Headed to a campsite that was way too hippy for us. Generally not a fan of soap dodging, dopeheads, all this offered was muddy sloping field, and a fat hippy chick, brain damaged by more than an occasional puff! Plus a shed for joining in with other spaced out musos for their daily jamming session. Wild cassowaries are apparently a regular sight here, the only brightly coloured bird we saw was a fat one in a loud shirt. No thanks, we headed straight back out, wheels spinning to escape being bogged!!! continued driving to the beach and found ourselves a beautiful spot right on the beach!! Showers and loos clean, filled horse up, very happy!! 

Off to Port Douglas next, bloody oath

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